Wednesday, 30 October 2019

How to build a healthy relationship

Maintaining a healthy relationship is a constant and consistent action taken by everyone in a relationship, but building one is more of a concern to many.

Today, I will share with you a few tips to building one and how to sustain the relationship with ease, averting workload on a single party to the relationship, while creating a balance and growth for both parties.

So... First, we have to understand what a healthy relationship means...
 Healthy relationship is one in which two people develop feelings based on mutual respect with both parties involved understanding themselves and knowing the limits to which they can both go with each other without creating an imbalance.
Often times we misunderstand healthy relationship with lust relationship due to negligence on our side, which is directly attributed to our uncontrollable desire to bond with the opposite party we are involved with. Nevertheless, the lust relationship or whatever relationship we are in can be geared and mastered towards becoming a healthy relationship by following these tips on how to build one (healthy relationship).

Different school of thoughts have derived different views on what a healthy relationship should look like or how to build one and maintain it, but after carrying out a detailed survey on several successful relationships, I have been able, to sum up the most functional tips and strategies to building a super healthy relationship.

Sharing these relationship hacks and making both the individual and relationship better is my major joy. But, may I have you know that one disappointing fact about this masterpiece of information is that; we read but don't practicalise it, rather we think our partner (s) owe us these responsibilities of making what's is ours, our ship, our relationship, we think it's their function to make it healthy. So, please if you are reading this and it wasn't your intention to read but you just felt like knowing for reference or future purpose, please do well to share to those you know might need it. If you are current and you know a lot of happenings in our society, relationship breakage and divorce issues are trending everywhere.

Ok... So back to business (with a smile), Before picking your hack, you would most definitely want to answer these few questions I have set. Why? It's simple, it's because from my research I have come to find out that many of us don't even know why we are in a relationship, what type of relationship we are and what the major issues of our relationship really is. We just rush to a friend, counsellor, or to get online therapy, without analysing the problem so you'd know what solution (s) to search for.

Let's get to know how to build a healthy relationship...

Improve your communication skill: One major problem with every one of us is the fact that we tend to assume or presume that the receiver or decoder of our information(s) understands us from our view, and therefore we neglect emphasizing on the important details that could help them understand us better. 

When I say work on your communication skill, I mean work on making your partner (decoder) understand your details so he can understand you better. I know for sure you might have read this rule or strategy in so many places, blogs and books and you probably might have watched a detailed video analysis too. But, the fact is they don't emphasize on the other party rather, they emphasize on you. 

How do you want to move a shadow when light is still be hindered by what reflected the shadow?
I know you probably don't understand this. Here's what I mean, you've read different strategies to improve your communication skill, but you haven't read the person you are communicating to. So, your principle of communication, communication strategies might or will still fail you. Why? Because you have worked on you and you're now developed, but you haven't studied your partner to know which of your communication skills or strategies to use on him or her. 

Here's the solution when I say work on your communication skill; work on understanding you and your partner as to what best he easily get on with then use that or those things to strike communication while you make them understand in their way. 

NOTE: that doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of your joy to make your partner understand.

Understand your decoder's mood: you don't go talking to everybody every time because you think every time is for everybody to talk, we all differ in proportion to our moods. 

Mood swing is one hell of a problem in every type of relationships, be it business, personal, official or even spiritual relationship... Mood swing comes to play in all of these relationships. So when next you are preparing to go talk or approach your partner, make sure he or she is in the right mood.

Your partner feels intoxicated when you come in trying to be funny at a time when he or she is supposed to be doing some analysis, resting or probably preparing for a meeting. You don't engage your partner in discussion every single minute, there are times when silence and space are all they need. Learn to understand them so your relationship doesn't become toxic for either of you.

Make a move when he or she is receptive.
Moods play a major role in maintaining healthy relationships but we often neglect it.

Ask less, Trust more: I know this sounds crazy right now... But it's a rule most successful relationship practice. 

Frequently asking irrelevant questions is not a way of being a lively partner, it's a way of intoxicating your partner
Most times, especially the females tend to fall guilty of this offence (always asking questions), and it's mostly spurned up by insecurity. We hear all sorts from third parties and that feeling of I would lose him or she would ditch me comes playing in our head, then we forget that trust is paramount in a relationship and we begin to question our partner, making them feel extremely uncomfortable with you around them which in turn pushes them outside to find consolation. Unfortunately, there's always someone out there who is always waiting to receive them. Funny world...

Keeping and building a relationship requires less questioning from both sides, and more of trust from both parties too. This way, third parties becomes totally irrelevant and your relationship becomes more relevant and healthy.

Let your relationship be a give and take affairs: stop putting pressure on your partner to always give while you receive. Don't forget it's a relationship, not a sole proprietorship, so why would you always expect him or her to be the one doing the giving?

When I say giving, I mean giving respect, care, attention, space, trust and love including financial giving too!! Stop putting the pressure on your partner, a relationship is a ship, the sailor has to sail the ship while the ship carries the sailor but at the end, the goal is to reach a particular destination.

Give love just as you expect it, give care just as you expect it, give attention just as you expect it, give a listening ear just as you expect it, give respect just as you expect it and give trust just as you expect!

Accept and learn to deal with each other differences: 
To a beautiful you there's an ugly you.
The above quote is my personal quote which I derived during my surveys and questioning. A successful relationship will stand the test of time if the partners will learn to sort out their differences between themselves.

When your partner goes off the line, castigating and reminding them of their flaws, errors or past is never a way to make it a 50/50 show, but when you call him or her to order in a calm manner and deal with the issue, the relationship doesn't only come back flying, your partner's respect for you increases due to the maturity you showed rather than nagging.

Be a growth pioneer: Naturally, everyone loves those who push them to get better, why not capitalise on this and make your relationship healthier by pioneering growth; back your man or woman to grow better rather than exhaust them. He or she will most definitely appreciate you more and this would foster boost your relationship healthily.

I trust you've gathered more than enough, but reading this won't improve your relationship if you fail to practice it.

Like they say; practice makes perfect
Remember these keywords; Love, share, respects and reciprocate good deeds.

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Stanley is an exceptional copywriter and content marketer (certified) well known for his creativity and research speciality, an accountant who brings more than just accountability to the table awarded to my vast knowledge in digital marketing which I am a Google certified and a tech genius specialised in blogging, web design, graphics and the effective use of all Microsoft packages.

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